Office Pranks

I was forwarded an email yesterday from a colleague listing funny office pranks and their accompanying point value should you want to compete with another colleague. Being a person that savors humor and especially tries to relish in the absurdities that occur in an office, I thought I would post the pranks for your amusement or to attempt on some hapless other employee...or perhaps your boss.

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, " Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye. "
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your earsand grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, " Sorry, I really prefer it this way. "
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doorsopen.

THREE-POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, " I like your style " and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, " Did you get allthat, I don't want to have to repeat it. "
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice toconclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if youactually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you withgrowing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as " Bob. "
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you " really have to go do anumber two. "
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. Asin " The report's on your desk, Mon. " Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly andmutter, " Shut up, all of you just shut up! "
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, " As God as mywitness, I'll never go hungry again. "
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: " See how Ilook in tights. " (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, " You wannatrade? "
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: " Do you hear that? " " What? " " Never mind, it's gone now. "
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, " I can't talk about it. "
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won alunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a veryimportant conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you...
How to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point ahair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.2
) Tell your children over dinner. " Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go. "3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want frieswith that.
4) Put you r waste basket on your desk and label it " IN " .
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with " In accordance with the prophecy. "
7) Dont use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is " to go. "
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of junglesounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, " RockHard. "
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scre am " I Won! I Won! 3rd timethis week!!! "
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling," Run for your lives, they're loose! "

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this